Don't Make Me Go
by JustAnotherPhan33
Summary: Dan is sent to boarding school after a tragic incident. It's here he falls in love, but with the worst possible person. I'll try to update this every day or so. Also, any reviews and comments, good or bad, are appreciated. thanks for reading! :D TW on chapter 4.
1. Chapter 1

It's hard when someone dies. It's even harder when someone close to you dies. And something more painful than all of those? When you're the one to find them lying there. Dead.

It was 3:45 when I walked through the front door, after a long day at school. I called out, but there was no answer. That should have been clue number one, she always replies. I went into the kitchen, the living room and her bedroom. No-one anywhere. I then went to check the bathroom.

Now I don't know if you've ever experienced that feeling, the one where you see something that makes your whole stomach drop.

That's what it was. Seeing your own mum, lying on the floor not moving, with an empty bottle of pills by her side, and vomit lying by her mouth. I mean, what do you do in a situation like that. I stared at her for too long, like I was in a trance. It was the sound of the phone ringing, that pulled me back to my senses. I ran out of the room, grabbed the phone and ran back to the bathroom. I hit the answer button, then hung up on them immediately. I then rang an ambulance, and the rest of it was a blur. A fast, surreal blur. The ride in the ambulance, the hospital, seeing my dads face. It was all too much.

. . . . . . . . . .

_6 Months Later_

'Come on, you'll be fine.'

'I don't want to go Dad.'

'Well, you don't exactly have a choice Dan. So, let's go.' He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the car. Despite my constant moaning for three months, my dad had made his mind up. I was going to boarding school, and apparently I didn't have a say in the matter.

I stood looking up at the large school and then around the grounds. I saw families saying goodbye to their children. Most of them seemed, happy. Only a few seemed to be annoyed at having to come here. I turned back round to face my dad. He had opened up the boot, and was taking my suitcases out. I rolled my eyes, and walked over to help him. I grabbed the lightest case and shut the boot for him.

'Here we go then.' He said smiling at me. I gritted my teeth together, and started walking towards the entrance. I passed parents crying and hugging their children. They're going to school, not fucking prison. Mind you, is there really any difference?

We stopped outside the entrance and I faced my dad. 'I can take it from here.' I said, not looking at him directly.

'Maybe I should see you to your room. You know, help you with your stuff?'

'No. You wanted to get rid of me, so give me my case.' I spat at him.

'That's not why I'm doing this Dan, and you know that.' He said while handing me my other suitcase.

'Yeah, whatever. Bye, I guess.' I turned to walk away, but he placed his hand on my shoulder.

'Wait.' I spun around and stared at him. 'I'm not doing this to be mean, it's just that we both need to...'

'Fine dad. Can I go now?' I cut him off, before he could finish his sentence. I knew where it was going, and I didn't feel like crying in front of strangers.

'Ok. Bye son, I'll see you in the holidays.' He moved forward as if about to give me a hug, but thought better of it and patted my head instead. He then walked away, and I stood in the entry archway for a few moments, before heading indoors.

It was very big, and very fancy. I'm not sure how we could afford to send me here. There were pictures, on the walls, of the students over the years, along with awards and trophies. They seemed to like showing off, I wasn't going to fit in at all. I suddenly realised that I wasn't too sure where to go. I followed all the other students, and hoped I was going the right way.

'Ow!' I had walked into someone walking in the opposite direction.

'Sorry, it was an accident.' I looked up at them, a boy. Dark, almost black hair and bright blue eyes. Very attractive, I noted. I couldn't quite place an age on him though.

'Just watch where you're going next time.' He smiled at me and then walked away. He must be some sort of prefect, he looked older than most people here. I shrugged to myself and continued following the crowd.

. . . . . . . . . .

I had been here for a whole day and I already hate it. Firstly I don't really like my room mates. They stick to themselves and haven't actually talked to me yet. They just stare at me every now and then. They also whisper to themselves a lot. One of them has curly short brown hair, and green eyes. The other, has longer hair, but it was more black than brown. He had dark chocolate eyes though. Quite nice. No, I can't think like that here, who knows what they think of people like me. Just act normal.

I was lying in bed, I managed to grab the bed by the window, so I was staring up at the sky. I was just about to fall asleep when the curly haired one shouted at me. 'Close the bloody curtains would you?' I quickly sat up and drew the curtains. I then lay back down and pulled the covers over my head. I could hear them laughing quietly to each other. I don't think I'll be making friends any time soon.

. . . . . . . . . .

Today, I had my first lesson. I'll admit I was bricking it, I'm not the smartest person in the world. I got up at 6:00 because one of the boys' alarm was going off. Was that really necessary? I rolled out of bed and went to use the bathroom. When I walked back out, both of my room mates had changed into their uniform. I looked over to my suitcase, and realised that I didn't have a uniform yet. My dad was having it sent next week. Well, this should be an interesting day.

I had to walk to my first lesson by myself. Actually, I followed the other two, but technically they didn't know, so I was walking alone. 'We' reached the door and I stopped. This was it, all I have to do was be normal. I'm just an average person. I can do this. I stepped into the classroom and took a seat at the very back.

'Right class, Welcome back.' That voice sounded familiar. My head shot up and I felt myself starting to panic. It was him. Oh crap, he wasn't a prefect. 'My name is Mr. Lester. I know most of you already know that, but we have a few newbies this term.' He looked at me and grinned. I felt a blush rising in my neck. Oh shit, this place just got interesting.

. . . . . . . . . .


	2. Chapter 2

'Ok, so for your homework, I want you to write a page on your favourite hobby, and please make it interesting. Remember this is **creative** writing.' Mr. Lester, finished the lesson and turned to wipe the board clean. Everyone started putting their pencil cases away, and placing their books into backpacks. The bell went, signalling next lesson, and everyone got up. I stayed where I was, staring out of the window. There was currently two birds fighting over some bread. I heard someone clear their throat, I jumped and looked up. A rush of embarrassment ran over me.

'Something more interesting outside Mr. Howell?' Mr. Lester was standing over my desk, with his arms crossed. He had really nice arms, you know, for a guy.

'Uh, no sir.' I quickly put my things into my bag, and stood up.

'Did you know, you're the only new student here that is your age?'

'No, I didn't.' I looked at the door, willing for him to stop talking so I could leave.

'Well you are, and I was just wondering if you've made any friends yet?' This caught my attention and I looked up at him.

'No, actually, I haven't. But it's only my first day, so I have my fingers crossed.' He laughed, obviously catching onto the sarcasm in my voice.

'Well, just try to talk to someone. You can go now.' He turned, walked to his desk and sat down. I grabbed my bad, swung it over my shoulder and walked to the door. I looked back before leaving, and saw him sorting through some papers on his desk. I stepped outside the classroom and looked up and down the corridor. It was empty. I had maths next? No, it was History. Shit, I can't remember. I could feel the panic rising in my chest. Just breathe. In, and out. It's fine.

I stood there for a few seconds before deciding that it was definitely History. I turned left and ran down the corridor. I couldn't be late. I ran around the corner and straight into someone, knocking us both to the ground.

'Jesus, slow down would you?' I looked at the stranger and he was glaring at me.

'Sorry, I just didn't want to be late.' I said, nervously. He laughed viciously at me.

'Do I look like I give a shit?' He got to his feet and continued walking in the direction he was going.

Great Dan, I think you just made an enemy. Fantastic first day, and it isn't even 10:00am yet.

. . . . . . . . . .

The rest of the day ran the same as the morning. Being late for lessons, getting into trouble, embarrassing myself. The only lesson that wasn't a total waste of time, was science. Usually I hate science, but it was different here. I tried to sit away from people, but the tables were all connected, so that was impossible. After the teacher, Mrs. Price, introduced herself, she put everyone into pairs. This made me nervous, as in my old school, I would always end up with someone I hated. So, it was no surprise that my heart was racing as she read out the names.

'Dan' She looked towards me, and nodded. 'You'll be paired with, Pj.' I looked around kind of confused, as I knew no-one here. But she pointed towards a boy the other side of the room. I instantly felt annoyed as I noticed the curly hair and green eyes. He was sitting next to my other room mate, and they both seemed as annoyed as I was. I got my stuff and walked to the empty chair next to them. I sat down and looked at them. They were both staring at me. Again.

'Do you have a problem with me or something?' I said, feeling angry.

'What? No of course not.' Pj seemed genuinely confused.

'Well, you both seem to always ignore me and you never speak to me.' For some reason, this made them both laugh. 'See what I mean. What did I do?'

'You didn't do anything.' The brown eyed boy said. 'We didn't speak to you, because we just wanted to see what you were like before trying to befriend you.' He was smiling at me now.

'Didn't you think speaking to me might have been a good way, to see what I was like?'

'Yeah, sorry about that. We've both been coming here for three years, and the only room mates we've had, have been each other.' They smiled to one another again, and I felt my heart melt a little. Why was that so cute? I shook my head. Don't think like that Dan, remember what they said.

Pj stuck his hand out, and I took it. 'The name's Pj. Nice to meet you. This is Chris!' He said pointing to the other boy. I shook his hand and smiled at them both.

'I'm Dan. Nice to meet you too.' Chris nodded at me, and then turned back to his partner.

Well, now that it turns out my room mates weren't complete jerks, this place might not be so bad.

. . . . . . . . . .

That night in the dorm, the three of us spent all evening talking. It was nice, I found out all about their favourite music and what they liked to do in their spare time. Turns out Pj is an artist, and Chris just likes making people laugh. It was then that I realised I didn't have any talents. I couldn't do anything.

When we got onto the topic of family, I told them I was tired and needed to sleep. They seemed to catch on that something wasn't right, but made no comment on it. I felt grateful for that. I used the bathroom, and got into my pyjama bottoms and shirt. I remembered to close the curtains this time, and I heard Pj shout a thank you, from his bed. I fell asleep that night, smiling.

_'Hey, where are you going?'_

_'Don't walk away.'_

_'Where's your mum. Huh?'_

_'What's that? Are you psycho too?' _

_They were getting closer. I was trapped in the corner. No escape._

'NO!' I sat bolt upright in my bed, and could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead.

'Are you ok man?' I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I screamed. The light was turned on and Pj and Chris were standing over me, looking terrified.

I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I was fine. It was just a dream.

'I don't think he can hear us. I'm going to go get a teacher.' I reached out and grabbed Chris' arm.

'No, don't. I'm fine. Just a bad dream.' I could hear the desperation in my voice, and they looked at each other, uncertainly.

'Ok, but don't be scared to wake us if you need to.'

'Thanks.' I lay back down, and rolled over. Closing my eyes as tight as possible. I heard the footsteps across the room, and then beds creaking as they lay on them. You have to control this Dan. They'll think you're insane otherwise. Just keep it together. I opened my eyes, and lay silent for what felt like hours, before finally falling to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

On Saturday I woke up before the alarm. I rolled over to look at the clock, and saw that it was 5:49am. I groaned and placed my hands over my eyes. Realising that I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, I swung my legs off the bed and stood up. I looked across the room at the two boys, who were both still sound asleep. There weren't going to be any lessons today, as it was weekend, but I had no clue what they did around here for fun. I couldn't exactly wake them up, so I decided to have a wash instead. I walked quietly to the bathroom, and closed the door behind me. I turned the shower on and pulled off my shirt. I looked at my chest in the mirror, and I felt a stab of hatred towards myself. I took off my trousers and boxers, and stepped under the warm flow of water.

An hour later, and I was still standing under the heat. I could hear creaking of bed springs, and then footsteps on the wooden floor. The banging on the bathroom door shortly followed.

'Dan, will you get the hell out of the shower? I need to pee.' I laughed, and stepped into the cold air. It sent a shiver down my spine, as I grabbed my towel and wrapped myself up. I opened the door to find Chris there hopping up and down. 'Move out of the way.' He pushed past me and slammed the door shut.

I made my over to my bed and rummaged through my suitcase for something to wear. 'What are we doing today Pj?' I turned around holding a hoodie in my hand. 'Are we going out or are we staying here?' He remained lying on his bed, eyes still half closed.

'I don't know. We'll probably go into to town or something.'

'Hoodie it is then.' I went to take my towel off and remembered that I should have gotten changed in the bathroom. 'Can you, um, not look for a second.'

'My eyes are sealed. CHRIS STAY IN THERE FOR A MINUTE, DAN IS GETTING NAKED.'

'I am totally fine with seeing that!' He shouted in reply. Pj laughed and threw one of his pillows at the bathroom door. I took this opportunity to drop my towel, and put my boxers and jeans on.

'The coast is clear people.' At which point Chris came bursting through the door, and sat on Pjs' bed. I pulled my shirt over my head, and sat with them.

'So.' Pj said sitting up. 'What are we doing today?' We both looked at Chris, waiting for an answer.

'Shopping!' He said in the most girly, American voice I'd ever heard.

'You're so weird.' I stated, moving off the bed.

'Why, thank you Daniel.' He said, batting his eyelashes at me.

'You're welcome Christopher.' I replied, with a wink.

'Ok, if you're done flirting, can we get ready please?' He laughed, and walked towards the bathroom.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was 10:45, and the three of us were sitting at the back of the bus, heading into town. It didn't take too long to get there, considering the boarding house was in the middle of nowhere. It was mostly country lanes though, but it was peaceful. 'Hey Dan.' I looked over to Chris.

'Yes?' I was a little worried about what he was going to ask, to be honest.

'Did you sleep ok last night?' I was a bit shocked by the question, but replied anyway.

'I guess, better than Wednesday night.'

'Have you been having more nightmares? Because, you haven't woken us up since.'

'No, I haven't, thankfully.' Lying has come naturally to me ever since the incident with my mum. 'Can we change the subject please?'

'Sure. We're here now anyway.' The bus was slowing down, and pulling up to the stop. We filed out one by one, there were a few more boys from the school, but none that I recognised.

'Now what?' I turned to face the boys. 'I'm not really the hanging out, shopping kind of person.' They grabbed one of my arms each and dragged in the direction of, what looked like, a small mall.

. . . . . . . . . .

Two hours later and we sitting on a bench, outside of a charity shop, eating doughnuts. A group of boys from our school walked past, and Chris pointed to one of them. 'That one.' I turned to him, feeling like I was missing something.

'What about that one?'

'He's the one I used to date.' I choked on a piece of food, and looked at them both.

'What?' He gave me a perplexed look, then looked at Pj.

'Didn't you notice?'

'Not really.' I could see Pj smirking. 'Are you two, like..' I tried looking for the right words to use. 'An item?' It was Chris' turn to choke on his food.

'No way.' He looked at Pj. 'No offence. You're attractive, but you're just not my type.'

He laughed in reply. 'Yeah, you're not exactly my type either. Considering you have a penis' Chris turned back to me.

'Besides, I have a boyfriend back home.' He took a sip of his bottle of water. 'Does that, bother you?' They both looked at me, awaiting my answer.

'Of course not, you plonker.' I reached out and pushed him, a bit harder than I had realised, and he toppled off the bench.

'Ok. OW!' Me and Pj made no effort to move, as we were both weak with laughter.

'Would you look at that. The gay parade.' We all looked up, and a tall boy was standing there, arms crossed and glaring at us.

'I didn't know you could rhyme Lucas.' Chris said, getting to his feet. I looked closer at him and realised that I recognised him. He was the one I ran into, the first day of lessons.

'Wow, you're so funny.' He moved closer to Chris, so their faces were almost touching. 'Stay out of my, or you'll be sorry.'

'I am so scared.' Chris replied, grinning. 'But technically, you were the one that came into our path.'

'Whatever.' He replied, walking away.

'Who was that?' I asked Chris, while standing up.

'Lucas. Just some jerk who likes to make everyones lives miserable' Pj was the one who answered. 'come on. Let's go back to the house.'

. . . . . . . . . .

The ride back was quiet but not uncomfortable. No-one said anything to each other, but the occasional nod of the head, told us that everyone was ok. When we reached the school, we made our way to the computer room. However we never made it there, as we bumped into Lucas and his friends.

'We don't want any trouble.' Pj spoke first.

'Really? Cause we do. You made me look stupid in front of my friends, Chris. So now you have to pay.'

'Leave him alone.' It wasn't until everyone was looking at me, that I realised those words had come from my mouth.

'Awww, you've got yourself a boyfriend, you really are a group of homos.'

'Don't call us that. Don't you fucking call us that.' Everyones eyes widened as I spoke, including mine. Lucas walked over to me and came right up to my face.

'Or what?' You know in movies when people say that they had no control over their bodies, and they didn't realise what they were doing sometimes. It kind of felt like that when I punched him. I turned out to be quite strong, as he fell to the floor, with his nose bleeding.

I leaned right over him 'Or that.' I was about to walk away, but was interrupted.

'Mr. Howell. What's going on?' There was only one teacher who called me that. I spun around, and opened my mouth to talk, but one of Lucas' friends butted in.

'He punched Lucas for no reason at all.'

'That's not true.' Chris shouted, and he went for the boy.

'Oi. That's enough.' Mr. Lester pulled the Chris away from the scared looking boy, and helped Lucas to his feet. 'Alex, will you please take Lucas here, to the nurses room. And you Dan.' He turned to face me. 'My room. Now.'

. . . . . . . . . .

I've never been in trouble before, and after the walk to his room, I never plan to be in trouble again. He walked ahead of me, and lead me into his room. He took his seat behind his desk, and motioned for me to sit behind the closet table.

'So. What happened?' I looked up at him, and saw how disappointed he looked in me.

'He called us all..' I stopped for a minute.

'Go on.'

'Homos. He called us homos.' This seemed to strike a nerve with the teacher, as he fidgeted a bit in his seat.

'Any particular reason you lashed out then, instead of going to a teacher?'

'Do you know why I was sent here?'

'No. That's personal business between the pupils and the headteacher.' I bit my lip, and took a deep breath. Why I was about to do this, I'll never know.

'Then, I'll tell you.'

. . . . . . . . . .


	4. Chapter 4

_5 months earlier_

I walked past my house, past my local supermarket, and started down a long road. I walked for 15 minutes before reaching my destination. It was a small lake, surrounded by trees. Not many people knew about it, so it was nice to come and listen to the silence. I took my usual seat by the side of the lake, at the bottom of one of the trees, and closed my eyes.

About half an hour later I heard some rustling. My eyes shot open and I stayed perfectly still. It couldn't be any sort of dangerous animal, but I couldn't always be sure. I pushed myself slowly off the grass and stood with my back pressed against the tree trunk. I could hear footsteps, crunching against falling leaves. It was just a person. I walked out from where I was hiding, to come face to face with the most gorgeous person I'd ever seen. He had short blonde hair, with bright blue eyes. He was quite tall and I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt. He was rather muscular, and I lost my breathe for a second or two.

'Hi. Sorry, I didn't think anyone was here.' He held his arms around his body, as if shy or insecure. Though he had no reason to be.

'Uh... It's fine. I was just, you know. Sitting down.' We both stood there for a while, neither of us sure what to do next.

'Do you wanna go for a swim?' I was caught off guard, and didn't know what to say.

'I don't have anything to wear, so I'll pass. I should really be going now anyway.' I said, wanting any excuse to leave.

'Oh, ok then.' I nodded my head slowly, and began walking away. 'Wait. Can you come back tomorrow? Maybe we could go swimming then?' He was smiling at me and I could my stomach flipping over.

'Yeah, that sounds cool.'

'Great. Same time tomorrow then.' We exchanged smiles, and I went on my way.

. . . . . . . . . .

We met at our secret place everyday for two weeks after that. It was safe to say that I was slowly falling in love with this boy, whose name is Tyler. I don't know what it was about him. A part of me thought he might like me back, but then I looked in the mirror and remembered who I was. I remembered that I was a 17 year old boy, and he was a 19 year old man. Everything was great, until one Tuesday.

We were sitting under our usual tree, when we got onto the topic of family. I found out that he had two older sisters and a younger brother. Then it was my turn.

'It's just me and my dad.'

'What happened to your mum?' He looked at me with great interest. I debated lying, saying that she left us for another man, or that I was adopted. But when I looked into his eyes and saw his smile, something came over me.

'She died a month or so ago.' I looked at the lake, at the water trickling down the stream in the sunlight.

'Oh, I'm so sorry. Was it a heart attack? That seems to be a common cause these days.' He asked with such ease, as if I had just told my rabbit had ran away.

'No, she killed herself.' It came out before I had a chance to think about what I was saying. 'I shouldn't have said that. Sorry.' I looked at Tyler, and he had a strange look on his face.

'I'm so sorry. That must have been awful.' He was looking at me, and I don't know what came over me but I couldn't help myself.

I took his hand, and leaned across, waiting for him to move his head. That's the moment everything went wrong.

'What the fuck are you doing?!' He was on his feet, and I jumped up.

'I'm sorry, I just thought that... you know.' I walked towards him.

'That what? I was a homo?' He said backing away form me, as if he didn't want to catch my 'disease.' I took a few steps back.

'Wait!' He was walking away now. 'I thought we had a connection or something?'

'I'm allowed to be just friends with a guy you know?' And then he left. It sounds stupid, but I felt my heart break in that moment. How stupid was I, to think that someone might actually like me?

I couldn't sleep that night. I just lay there, staring at my ceiling.

. . . . . . . . . .

The next day, I walked to school trying to keep him out of my mind. I walked through the main doors and immediately knew something was wrong. Everyone was staring at me. People normally ignore me, according to them I don't exist. They were all laughing and whispering as I passed. I kept my head down and walked to my locker.

I stopped and my bad fell to the floor. Sprayed across my locker over and over again, was the word:

_FAG_!

I turned around, to see everyone standing there, pointing at me and laughing. I could feel tears threatening to spill over. A boy from my class, Mike, stepped forward.

'Guess what my brother told me last night?' My stomach dropped. 'That we have a homo in our school.' I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

'You know what we do with gays, right Howell?' His friend standing next to him, crossed him arms and was glaring down at me. They started walking towards me, then it was like my brain started working, and my feet started moving.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could, but unfortunately, my fastest wasn't good enough. They caught up to me near the local park. I ran into one of the 'gang' Charlie. So, I turned around, to find another standing there. I then noticed all five of them standing around me.

'I haven't done anything. Please just leave me alone.' I bit my lip to stop myself from crying, but it didn't work. A tear rolled down my cheek.

'Look, he's crying.' I tried to run away, but I was cornered.

_'Hey, where are you going?'_

_'Don't walk away.'_

_'Where's your mum. Huh?'_

_'What's that? Are you psycho too?'_

_They were getting closer, and I couldn't move, I couldn't get away. I was trapped. The first punch came out of nowhere. Before I knew what was happening, I was on the floor in pain. Punches and kicks coming from every direction. I lay there. I didn't try to fight, or move. I just cried. _

_The hits stopped coming, and I thought it was over. Then someone grabbed my arms, and my legs, and they were holding me down. I opened my eyes and say Mike kneeling next to me with a marker pen. I could feel it on my face and knew instantly what they were doing. I closed my eyes and just waited. I felt them let go._

_'Learn your lesson, you queer psychopath. Do us all a favour and join your mother.' Mike then spat on me and left. My brain kept telling me to get up, but I just lay there. _

_'Hey, are you ok?' I felt someone place a hand on me, and saw some person staring at me. I just stare back. I can't find the strength to speak. I lick my lips and taste the blood. So much blood. _

_The person standing over me, grabbed my arm and carefully pulled me up. 'Do you need help getting home? Should I call an ambulance?' I shook my head and pushed him away. A fresh set of tears start falling, as I notice eople staring at me._

_I try walking away, and feel the sting in my legs. I looked down and saw blood coming through my trousers. I start walking, ignoring any stares or anyone trying to help. It takes me a lot longer than usual to get home. No surprise._

_I walk through my front door, and know that dads not home. He'll be at work. I walk to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. I don't cry, I just stare at what's written there. Emotionless. _

___DIE. _

_Just one word. One word to push me over the edge. I take my shirt off and stare at the bruises and blood. I do the same with my trousers, and stand there in my boxers. I turn around and stare at the floor. Just a month ago my mum was there. Seems like the right way to go huh? Like mother, like son. _

_I walk into my room and put on my best clothes, got to look nice. I wondered back into the bathroom, open the cabinet and stare at the bottles. I run my fingers along them all, and settle on one. I twist the cap off, and pour the contents into my hand. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. This is really it. One last tear rolled down my cheek._

_. . . . . . . . . . _


	5. Chapter 5

_Phils POV_

I listened closely to the story being told and felt my stomach twisting in knots. How could someone do that? Convince someone else to kill themselves.

Dan finished telling the story and I noticed he was crying. My first instinct was to reach out and hug him, then I remembered I was his teacher. Instead I placed my hand on his arm. That was safe, right?

I felt him flinch under my touch, so I quickly moved myself away.

'I'm sorry for telling you all that. I've never told anyone before.' He was staring at his hands, and all I could feel for this boy was sympathy.

'It's ok Dan. I can see why you hit Lucas now. I would have done the same, to be honest.' I saw the corners of his mouth curl into a smile and I felt proud of myself for causing it.

'You're not supposed to say that.' He looked up at me. 'You're my teacher.'

'Let's just not tell anyone eh?' I couldn't help but smile at him. 'Even though I agree with your actions, I still have to do something about it. Otherwise I'll get shit for letting you go.' I covered my mouth with my hand after realising what I had said. 'Sorry about that.'

'It's ok. I'm 17 so I have heard swear words before.' He laughed at me.

'But not from a teacher. I'm a terrible example.'

'But, what am I going to have to do though?'

'Well, over the bank holiday, I want to re-decorate this room. So, you can help.' He looked around the room for a bit and slowly nodded his head.

'Ok. Doesn't seem too bad. Plus it'll give me an excuse not to see my dad.'

'Great, I think. I'll see you two weeks Monday at, shall we say, 10am?'

'I think I can survive getting up that early.'

'But the question is, will you be able to survive two whole weeks with me?'

'I think I'll manage.' I saw a grin appear on his face before getting up and leaving.

I watched him go and couldn't help noticing how mature he was for a 17 year old. He was nice, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was looking forward to those two weeks.

. . . . . . . . . .

_Dans POV_

I was walked out of Mr. Lesters room and was immediately jumped by Chris and Pj.

'What happened dude?' I looked at Pj and smiled.

'Nothing actually.'

'So you're not in trouble?'

'Well, sort of. I have to help re-decorate the English room over the holiday. Which I'm cool with.' Chris placed his arm out in front of us to stop us from going any further.

'Wait a second. You get to spend two whole weeks with the most attractive teacher ever, all on your own?' Pj rolled his eyes, and I couldn't help but laugh.

'Yeah, you think he's attractive?'

'Duh. But I forgot, straight boys refuse to acknowledge the beauty in other guys.' We all continued walking, and I wondered about maybe telling them my story. Would they judge me, laugh at me or worse? I didn't know if I wanted to risk our friendship.

When we got to our room, we all went straight to our beds. I didn't bother getting changed, I was too tired. Punching someone really takes it out of you.

'Guys?'

'Yes, Dan.' They both said simultaneously.

'Are we like, friends?' They both laughed at this.

'No.' Chris said. 'We're best friends.'

'That was incredibly cheesy.' Pj said from his bed.

'Can I tell you something?' I can do this.

'Sure.' Chris sat up in his bed. They both seem intrigued. Here we go.

. . . . . . . . . .

After telling the story for the second time that day, I was sitting in bed staring at the two boys who were looking at me with their mouths open. It was Pj who moved first. He came and sat next to me. He placed his arm around my shoulder.

'I'm so sorry. That shouldn't have happened to you.' He put his head on my shoulder.

'It's fine.'

'Well, what happened to you after that?' Chris came and sat the other side of me.

'I don't really want to talk about it. I've told that story twice today and I'm feeling really tired.'

'That's fine. You don't have to tell us. How about we just all go to sleep?'

'Thanks Pj, and you too Chris.' We finished with a very cheesy group hug and they went back to their beds.

'Today has been very gay.' Chris announced from his bed.

'Well, maybe we should shave tomorrow? Or go see some monster trucks?' I replied, smiling to myself.

'I only have hair in one place and my boyfriend likes it there. So that's a no.'

'Did we really need to know that Chris?' I could hear the disgust in Pjs voice.

I rolled over onto my back, and closed my eyes. My thoughts travelled back to Mr. Lesters room. When he touched my arm, it felt amazing. I didn't have nightmares that night. Instead I dreamt of lying in his arms, it was perfect.

. . . . . . . . . .

AN – Ok, this chapter sucks and I'm sorry. I was having a dodgy day, but I hope you like it anyway.

Next chapter, prepare yourselves for a lot of Phan, I promise! ^~^

Please rate, comment or whatever. Love you guys! 3


	6. Chapter 6

It was Monday, the first day of the bank holidays. I'll admit, I was nervous. It was currently 9am and I still hadn't gotten dressed. I was staring at the pile of clothes in front of me. I didn't want to look like I was trying, but at the same time I didn't want to look scruffy. Why was I even worrying about this? He was my teacher. I moaned and collapsed onto my bed.

I lay there for a few minutes before getting up and settling for jeans and a plain black shirt. I used the bathroom then looked at the clock. 9:33. Great, now what? I looked out of the window and saw parents picking up their children. I felt a stab of jealously, but brushed it away as quickly as it had come. I decided to leave then, so what if I was early.

I made me way to Mr. Lesters room, trying to walk slowly, but my excitement was causing me to half hop, half skip down the corridors. When I did reach the room I looked in, he was standing in the middle, all the desks pushed to one side. It was weird seeing him in normal clothes. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a light blue top. I stood staring at him for a moment. He really was gorgeous. I shook my head to get rid of any thoughts and walked into the room.

'Sorry, I'm a little early.' He spun around.

'Dan! Hey, no problem. Just gives us more time.' That smile. 'Right, I thought we could start by painting this wall.' He pointed to wall with windows in.

'Ok. I'm not the greatest painter by the way Sir.'

'Me either.' He scrunched his face up a little. 'And you can call me Phil.' It was always weird to hear teachers names. But it suited him.

'Really?'

'Yeah, we'll be spending quite a lot of time together, so it's easier to say than Mr. Lester.' He put his hands on his hips and stared at the wall, with a look of concentration on his face.

'Shouldn't we put something on the floors?'

'Oh yeah. Good point.' He said, looking sheepish. He went to the cupboard and found some plastic. He then lay it on the floor, grabbed a paint brush and turned back to me. 'Well, come on then.'

I walked forwards an grabbed one of the bigger paintbrushes.

. . . . . . . . . .

_Phils POV_

I was worried things would be awkward. I'd never really talked to a student before. Not outside lessons, but it was actually easy. We got talking about hobbies. He was surprised by my music taste, and my obsession with Buffy. He was really funny as well. Managing to make me laugh every time he spoke. It wasn't like talking to a child, it was like talking to one of my old friends. It was nice.

'Can I ask you something?'

'Sure, what is it Dan?'

'The other week, when I told you why I was here, why did it bother you so much?' I was taken aback by his question. I didn't realise I had been that obvious.

'I don't think it's appropriate to discuss my personal life with you.'

'Yeah but, I told you about my sob story, so now it's your turn.' I sighed, and put down my paintbrush.

'Fine, it's not very interesting though.'

'I don't care.' He dipped his brush into the paint pot and returned to the wall.

'It's actually similar to yours.' I started 'I was open with my sexuality the moment I figured it out.' He looked up at me, as if he didn't realise I was gay.

'Most people didn't care, but there were some who just didn't like it.' Just thinking back to those memories made me feel shit. 'I ended up with a lot of problems. I was beat up frequently. One day I came home and my mum noticed the bruises. She freaked out and took me out of school. I became home-schooled then, and that's it. That's my sob story.'

I looked over to Dan, to see his reaction. He didn't seem too shocked or freaked out.

'Are you married?' I laughed, and shook my head.

'No, but where did that come from?'

'I don't know. You're just an attractive person, I thought someone would have picked you up by now.' I know I shouldn't have been, but I couldn't help feeling flattered. No-one had ever said that to me before. I couldn't think like that though. The trouble I would get into.

'Come on.' I picked the brush up again. 'Let's finish this wall.'

'Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I do that sometimes.'

'Don't worry, you spoon.' I said flicking a bit of paint at him. He opened his mouth in shock.

'Did you just get paint on my favourite shirt?'

'Sorry.' I said, as I poked my tongue out at him.

'You will be.'

'What?' felt the brush against my face seconds after. 'You did not just do that?'

'Whoops, I slipped.' I glared at him, and picked up the nearest paint pot.

'Really?' I started walking closer to him. 'Well, I might just slip.' And with that, I poured the remaining contents of the pot over his head.

'You twat.'

'Hey. I'm your teacher!'

'I don't care.' He picked up a pot of red paint.

'Don't. I can get you into trouble.' I was edging backwards, with my eyes closed, waiting for it to hit me. When it didn't, I opened my eyes and _slam_. I turned into a tomato. I wiped the paint form my eyes, and saw Dan clutching his stomach, and laughing like a maniac.

This went on for 15 minutes, and by the end there was more paint on us than the walls. We officially looked like rainbows.

'Ok, stop now.' I looked around laughing. 'Look at the mess you made!'

'You started it.' He was smiling. It was wonderful to see him happy, after everything that has happened to him.

'Come on. Let's get cleaned up.' I put my arm around his shoulder and lead him out of the room.

. . . . . . . . . .

_Dans POV_

It went like this for the rest of the week. Not the paint wars, but just talking like friends. On the Friday though, I was starting to feel sick, from the fumes of the paint.

I sat on the floor, leaning against the dry wall. Phil came and sat next to me.

'You ok?'

'Yeah, just feel a bit woozy.'

'Well, I was thinking, seeing as you've done such a good job with the room, that we could go for a picnic tomorrow.' I looked at him and nodded.

'That sounds awesome.'

'Great. Plus it'll get you out of this place. I know I work here, but it gets so boring sometimes.' He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

'I've had fun doing this though. Detention has never been so much fun.'

'Did you get detention often then?'

'Nope. Just once, but only because I bought a puppy to school.' He looked at me, confused.

'You what?'

'I was 6. I found it on the street and I didn't want it to get hurt.' He laughed and rolled his eyes.

'Trust you.' He nudged my arm with his elbow. 'Right. You can go now, I'll clear the tables away.'

'You sure?' I asked, getting up.

'Yeah. I'll meet you here at 11, tomorrow morning then?'

'Sounds great.' I smiled and walked out of the room. I tried to contain my excitement until I was in my room. We were going out, on a picnic, just us two. I tried not to get too excited. He's your teacher Dan. Nothing can happen. He'd get into trouble. Not unless you were caught, the little voice in my head whispered.

. . . . . . . . . .


	7. Chapter 7

The next day, I was standing outside Phils classroom. I looked up and down the corridor, every time I heard a noise I hoped it would be him. But no luck. I looked at my phone and it was 11:45. I was about to give up when I heard him calling my name.

'Dan. Sorry I'm late.' He was panting, clearly he had been running.

'It's ok. I just thought you wouldn't be coming.' I looked him up and down and couldn't help but smile. He was wearing a new pair of jeans, and a white shirt.

'Ready to go?' I nodded and he lead the way.

. . . . . . . . . .

I didn't know where we going, but I hoped it would be somewhere private. That little voice inside my head had won.

'Where exactly are we going?' I asked looking around. We were heading down a small path, lined with trees.

'You'll see. It's a surprise.' I rolled my eyes at him, and stopped talking. It was a warm day, a little cloudy but I didn't really care.

After about 20 minutes of walking Phil stopped suddenly. 'Ta da!'

'It's a gate.'

'We go through the gate.' He laughed and stepped forward.

'Wait!' He stopped and looked at me.

'What? Is it a bee? Just kill it.'

'No. I want to go through first.' He stepped back.

'Ok then.' I walked up to the gate and pulled it open, I walked through and closed it after me. I stood my my arms on it and smiled at him.

'Come on then.'

'Your kind of blocking it.' I grinned at him.

'I know.' He raised an eyebrow and moved forward. He reached out to open it but I shook my head. 'You have to pay first.'

'I am not giving you money.'

'I'm not after money. This is a kissing gate you know.' I winked at him.

'I'm flattered but that's a little inappropriate.'

'Fine then. Don't come through. Stay there.'

'Fine.' He leaned in and pecked my cheek.

'That is totally cheating.'

'You never said where to kiss you. Now move. My legs are hurting.'

I sighed and let him through. I could still feel his lips on my cheeks and I wondered what they would feel like on the rest of my body.

'You coming then?' I shook my thoughts away, and followed him through a field.

'Are there animals here?'

'Why, are you scared?'

'Of course not.' I was a little. I once had a bad experience with a cow. But I'm not getting into that.

'There aren't any animals here. So don't worry.' Up ahead I could see a very large oak tree. It's branches were twisting in all directions and it was pretty breathtaking. When we reached it, Phil sat down on the grass underneath the tree. I sat beside him, as close as I could. When he didn't move away, I took that as a good sign.

'So, where's this picnic?' He looked around and groaned.

'I knew I forgot something.' I laughed at how forgetful he was.

'You were the one who suggested a picnic, how could you forget?'

'Well, the headteacher wanted to speak to me this morning, which is why I was late. So I just completely forgot.'

'But, now what do we do?' I leaned against the tree, and soaked in the sun.

'We can cloud spot?' I looked through the leaves at the sky.

'They're in the sky. There done.' He pushed my arm, and I toppled over.

'No. Properly.'

'How old even are you?' I lay down in the grass.

'23, but I'm still 10 at heart.' He lay down too, and it was quiet for a few moments.

'That one looks like unicorn.' I tilted my head, and saw it.

'Oh yeah. That one looks like a mushroom.' He pointed to the cloud next to my unicorn. I stared at his hands, and pictured them running through my hair. I bit my lip and looked away. This is you we're talking about Dan. There's no way he could like you.

We stayed lying on the grass for an hour, pointing out shapes in the sky. After I pointed to one shaped like a grasshopper, and he didn't reply, I looked over to him. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly parted. I moved a little closer to him and tucked my head near his shoulder. I closed my eyes and savoured the moment.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was awoken by Phil shaking me.

'Dan, wake up. We need to leave, it's starting to rain.' I slowly opened my eyes and saw him kneeling over me. I sat up and remembered where I was. Phil reached his hand out, I grabbed it and he pulled me up.

I felt the first few drops of rain as we were walking towards the gate. We passed through, and as we were wondering down the lane, is started pouring.

'Shit.' I yelled over the sound of the rain hitting the path.

'Come on.' Phil grabbed my hand and we ran down the path. At the end of the lane I stopped in my tracks. 'What are you doing? We need to get back to the house.'

I stepped in the middle of the empty road and held my arms out, looking at the sky. I let the rain fall on me. It was an incredible feeling.

'Are you insane. Come on Dan.' He grabbed my hand again, tighter, so I couldn't let go. I grinned while staring at our entwined fingers. We reached the house, and ran inside. We were dripping wet and I laughed at how stupid we must have looked.

With our hands sill together, Phil dragged me into the teacher room. It was empty. 'Stay here. I'll go get some dry clothes, and towels.' I'd never been in here before, it was cosy.

He came back a few minutes later, and locked the door. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he shook his head. 'It's not like that. I just don't someone walking in when I'm drying off.'

He threw some joggers and a shirt at me. I placed my hand on my belt.

'Wait for me to turn around. And neither one looks until the other is done ok? I don't want you getting the wrong idea.'

'Fine. Ok, I get you. No sex for us.' I saw him blush, and turned my back to him. I slipped my jeans off. 'What about my boxers?'

'DAN!'

'Ok, ok. I was just joking.' I pulled my joggers on and pulled my top over my head and dropped it on the floor. I could hear Phil taking his trousers off, and had to use all my will power not to turn around. I grabbed the clean shirt and put it on.

'Are you done yet Phil?'

'One sec. I'm just sorting out my top.' One look wouldn't hurt. I looked over my shoulder, and felt my insides turn to jelly. I turned the whole way round and couldn't help but stare. He was perfect.

'Hey. Dan, I told you not to look.' He turned around and pulled his dry shirt over his head.

'Couldn't resist. I am so glad I have no self control.' He looked at the floor, and placed his hands around his stomach. 'You shouldn't be embarrassed. You're insanely attractive.'

'That would mean so much more if it wasn't coming from someone that I teach.' That hurt. 'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, this whole thing is messed up.'

'What whole thing? We went for a picnic, and you forgot the fucking picnic.' I felt angry now and I didn't know why.

'Do you want me to say it?' He was yelling. 'I'm attracted to you ok. You're 17 and I'm attracted to you.'

I smiled and stepped forward a bit. 'Why is that so bad? I'm over 16.'

'It's still illegal Dan.'

'How?' I stepped closer yet again.

'It's complicated, but it just is.' I tool one last step until we were face to face.

'No-one has to know. I won't say a word.' He looked me in the eyes.

'I can't.' He didn't move though. This was it Dan. Just do it.

'But you want to.' He moved his head and suddenly our mouths were connected. He placed his hands on my waist, deepening the kiss. I laced my arms around his neck, and his tongue brushed my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I parted my mouth and our tongues grazed over one anothers. I had waited for this moment since we first bumped into each other that day. I gently caressed his neck, not wanting to pull away.

He slowly detached his lips from mine, and placed his head into my neck. 'This is so wrong.' He mumbled into my skin. I felt a shiver down my spine.

'No. this is so right.' He laughed, causing a vibration through my skin. I had that feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

'You should go.' He pulled his head up, but kept his arms around my waist.

'Can't I stay, a little longer?'

'The other teachers are going to be here soon. I'll talk to you tomorrow ok?'

I reluctantly took my hands from around his neck, and we separated. I picked up my damp clothes and headed for the door.

'Can we...' I looked for the right word to say. 'Hang out again tomorrow?' He laughed and pushed me out of the room.

'Maybe, I don't know. I need to figure some stuff out.' I walked down the corridor and looked back. He was standing there, watching me. I winked and then turned the corner.

. . . . . . . . . .

AU – Omg, that was awful. I cannot write kissy scenes or anything. So apologies, again ._.

Hope you enjoyed anyway and thanks for reading! There may be smut in the next chapter. Or there may not be. Ooooo, who knows ;D


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